Thursday, April 30, 2009

If your baby is 7

Can it still technically be considered "postpartum depression" if your "baby" is 7?

Not that I think I'm depressed, I just sometimes feel that weird poignant sad when I think of babies, and worse, all of those cute pregnant people I know.

I know it sounds crazy, but I admitted I was crazy already-so you were warned, but infertility doctors and all of the jumble that goes along with them will do that to you.

I'm over the whole mind numbing envy thing, it has sort of melted and turned into a slow moving lava river of melancholy.

It erupts from time to time.

For some strange reason (stupid hormones) now is one of those times.

The salt I pour in my own wound? Watching a friends baby 3 days a week, and having other little life forms of various ages live at my house. While wishing and thinking that I'd love to have my own offspring-one at each age they are.

I like kids, even other peoples. And yet that almost makes it harder, cause I can't keep them-and believe me I've tried.

So July I'm counting on you to be the one, come through for me ok? 'Cause I make pretty babies, and there should be more of them in my world.

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