Thursday, May 19, 2011


So I've been thinking, yes it hurt, about writing down all of the hilariousness that spews forth from The Girl Child's mouth. The problem with that is that as soon as it's published she'll say some more funny things and I'll wish that they were in it too. So maybe i should just keep collecting those gems and wait till she's a snarky teenager and then embarrass the crap out of her by publishing it then.

Your thoughts?

Also maybe I might have been contemplating turning this here sucker into a food blog, seeing as I've become ever more reclusive and there's only so much a hermit can actually write about.

Here's my first installment- Recipe for toast

1- get a toaster
2- plug in said toaster
3- put bread, any variety you'd like
4-push down the toaster button
6-put cooked toast on a plate
7-top with butter, jam, nutella or other topping of chioce

Monday, May 9, 2011

back from hiatus and an actual conversation

Roofs leak, girl's camp meetings must be attended, I run an orphanage, and mommas visit. What can I say- life happens, and the first thing to go is luxury time, sorry for the silence.

My mother's day gift form Girl Child? Laughter, oh and toast in bed- crumbs brushed over to Schroedad's side of course.

In sacrament meeting on Mother's day the primary children always sing, Girl Child got all the way to the stairs this year before skittering back- a record.

Actual Conversation prior to the meeting's start

Smarty Pants: Are you going to go up there and sing to me this year?

Girl Child: Ok, but only if you promise to cry (after a lengthy pause for consideration I might add).

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

actual conversation: children's television programs

I have a random question. What would happen if a preschool aged girl and her pet went wandering off in the forest? In real life DCFS would be all over that, but on Nickelodeon it's ok.

I can just imagine it now... An Amber alert has been issued for a 'Dora Explorer' who was last seen with her pet monkey 'Boots'. Mr. & Mrs. Explorer have issued the following statement
"We're not overly concerned, she goes on adventures like this all of the time. She has survival gear inside of her backpack, as well as a GPS like map. She'll be home around dark".

I'll bet you're wondering what brought all this philosophizing about, it was a conversation The Girl Child and I had a few years ago that I wrote about in my "for Em journal"- it went like this:

Smarty Pants: Umm, where are you going, and why do you have a back pack and Ducky?

Girl Child: On a adventure.

Smarty Pants: Oh, I see. Where is your adventure going to be?

Girl Child: Where ever it happens, mostly outside though.

Smarty Pants: Ok- but don't go out front alone.

Girl Child: Mom, do I have to stay in the back yard? Dora never takes her mom.

Smarty Pants: Dora also has a pet monkey, and a talking map, so yes- the yard it is.

Girl Child: Real life isn't as fun as cartoon life.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

gratitude: tmi edition

Warning the following post may contain information you'd rather not know
about anyone, ever, let alone me, now.

You know what I'm grateful for? The fact that my stomach/intestinal area is only connected to 2 orifices. Oh, and that there are exactly as many bathrooms as there are bottoms in this house.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

how you know

How do you know it's conference weekend in Utah?

just in case there was the temptation to go out and love spring- Heavenly Father helped you out- seriously He did. Take a look

Before conference

During conference

Just as conference was finishing

...but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 1 Cor 10:13

Friday, April 1, 2011

vitamin D

Sorry - can't post today. I'm out getting my first sunburn of the season

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

check it out

This guy takes random things and photographs them in funny situations

Little egg- Big dreams

Sweet cupcake goes Marilyn

Bon Voyage- Golf ball prepares

Escape form an overzealous admirer