When I was a senior in high school my cute friend Mary and I had this thing- we hated PDA, loathed it even. I mean really- smooching in the halls in high school, come on, it was just gross. So we took matters into our own hands and formed the PDAP- we had felt sheriff's stars and squirt guns and everything. We would go around and squirt offenders, you know like how you squirt a dog to stop bad behaviors. It was funny and we had a blast- and we really did clean up the halls of PHS.
That torch has been passed to The Schroeder, except he doesn't use squirt guns- just a scary cop voice. Case in point- last night in the church parking lot, right under the lights even-ugh, there were two teenagers were making out. Sheriff Schroeder took his scary voice out and told those kids to go home. And just before Christmas the sheriff stopped a couple of kids from procreating- just call him Mr. Abstinence. Gross I know- but really what do you do when, while innocently taking your child out to do donuts in the church parking lot, you come upon a dark and steamy car- with no apparent occupants. He knocks on the window is what.
Teenagers fear him, their parents unknowingly owe him, and Emma will one day be embarrassed to even know him.