Dear Calendar Makers of Old-
What, exactly, were you thinking when you made January the longest month in the whole year? I'm well aware that other months also have 31 days in them, however, those other months have really great redeeming qualities that make them speed by in the blink of an eye. Take October for example- it's 31st day is a holiday laden with candy, costumes, and the occasional drag queen- that makes everything ok. December, too, has a holiday on the last day, only this one is a little more drag queen and a lot more boozy for most people. Still, a holiday nonetheless. And those warm months don't have to do anything special- they're warm and, therefore, not the worst month of the year, unlike some cold and dragging months aforementioned.
So I vote we take some of those days in January, and give them to June. June is a totally fabulous and deserving month. It's all warm and there's no school, and think of how many more people could get married, and not be stuck with a cold and lame anniversary every year.
Let me know what you think?
p.s. yes I am well aware of the fact that those in the southern hemisphere may not like this plan- but I'm sure in time they could learn to live with it.