This morning as I was getting ready for church, and all of the meetings before, I was talking to myself in the mirror. I know, it sounds sort of crazy- but I never claimed that I wasn't.
I wondered things- like how was it decided; the challenges we would face, our strengths and weaknesses? Are the things I have a hard time with now the same things I struggled with before I came to Earth or are they new things I'm not so good at?
I've always felt like I'm the epitome of average, mediocre is my middle name. I've felt this way since I was a child. There are lots of things I'm capable of doing, but no one area where I'm really great. now I'm not fishing for compliments or even comparing myself to others (which I do too often anyway)- it's just a fact, and that's ok. Mediocre is half way up the mountain, and that's at least a start- right?
Even stranger- I totally saw the value and worth of others, but never myself.
Oh - it gets better. In every single blessing I can remember, the first thing that was said- Heavenly Father loves me.
I know. thick skulled apparently. It's hard being a 'why' child.
There is a point to all of this nonsense. I think it is actually helping me in my calling right now. I can feel sympathy for those morose, complain-y teenagers (and believe me they're complaining). So maybe this is where a weakness becomes a strength, as promised.