Things that must go

I have a new game to play- it's called things that must go

1- annoying commercials blaring louder than the tv show you were watching moments ago
2-random trash in the back seat of the car- that I didn't put there, but somehow get stuck cleaning out
3-rude ladies who yell at me for leaving kids in the car- when I walk the 5 feet to be a responsible shopper and put the cart away, while she leaves her's in the parking lot

That is all for today

The story of why I no longer go to the football games

Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story- Mark Twain

The first summer after Schroeder and I were married he offered to take me to a BYU football game. I acquiesced- and now I don't go anymore.

We had really good seats, thanks to uncle Russ and his 4 sets of season tickets, the problem was not with where we were sitting, it was the people behind us. Picture the meanest old grumpy guy that you know, and grumpify him a million more times.

Some people are not aware that there is a boundary of space, a bubble if you will, that surrounds other people and that it should not be crossed, smashed or otherwise damaged. The man sitting behind me was one of those unaware people.

I endured the knobby knees in the center of my back for more than half of the game, the other half I was being yelled at by him.

Every time the Cougs got within 15 yards of the end-zone everyone would stand up, making it necessary for me to stand up as well, which then earned me a yank on the back of my shirt and an angrily yelled "DOWN IN FRONT".

Right, like me sitting down is somehow magically going to enable you, grumpy Gus, to be able to see the field, through all of the other people's behinds who are standing up too.

I don't think I've ever felt so negatively about an old person, aside from driving behind one, in my whole livin' life. And these were season tickets people. I'm positive I don't possess the will power not to say excessively snarky and sassy things to my elders, for a whole season in front of that guy.

So that game I endured: the sun in my eyes, a hard seat for my bum- since I didn't know about the chair renting thing, the grouchy man's knees in my back- and him yelling at me, and my husband looking at me funny and then pretending not to know me when I accidentally cheered for the wrong team- it was only once though.

After that I told him we'd have a better marriage if he took a friend from then on. And the nice thing is, is that we do. I happily oblige to become a football widow for the season, if I never have to do that again.

bugs, lizards and tons of fun

Rafting Rocked, unfortunately I couldn't take el camera on the river, so all you get are pictures of the rest of our trip.

This bee got stuck in the wiper- struggled for about an hour and then flew away

These two got along nicely the whole way, no need to turn the car around if you know what I mean

She was a lizard catching fool- at one point she had 5- snakes with legs I say

The next door neighbor was kind enough to model lizard earrings

I found some marshmallows- not any mallows but roaster mallows- they're the size of a small dog, and they were so good. When s'mores were made, there was 3 inches of mallow hanging off of the edges. A sticky mess of goodness is what it was. I personally liked roasting them, puling the top brown layer off, eating it and then roasting the next layer of gooey deliciousness.

More fun than a barrel full of monkeys-rafting was definitely the highlight of the trip, but games around the campfire and being away from real life for a while was a close second. We're already planning next years trip, and I can't wait.

Letter to The Schroeder

Dear Schroeder,

Thanks for doing the dishes after the party with the P's and Q's last night, that was great of you. Also those steaks were cooked to perfection-way to be the grill master. I must admit though, I am kind of jealous that you won nearly every game we played, whonu, then *chaps and spurs too. I am slightly competitive as you know, and that was a difficult blow to take, that whole not winning a single game thing-oh I know the girls team won at sequence and all, but somehow that doesn't count, at least not for my gigantic game playing ego. But seriously way to go on the awesome game night winnings. I think you're fun to hang out with, we should do it more often.

Love,
Smarty Pants

p.s. even though my love letter to you is laced with satyr and a hint of sarcasm, please note that it is all self deprecating, and not directed at you in any way- the compliments are genuine

*real name of game-hand and foot or boot and glove

Nary a stray m&m

Valentines Class Party Report-

It all started with sugar cookies that needed to be frosted, decorated, and enjoyed. Imagine 100 second graders sitting at lunch tables, frosting and a popsicle stick, cookie and a juice box. Not one frosting fight broke out, so far so good. On to recess, so the moms could set up games in the class rooms.

Bingo, bookmark craft, and dice game - no gambling though. 10 minutes at each station. I ran bingo. The other 'cooler' moms brought prizes along with the game. my treat " you don't have a math test right now-there you go kid" didn't go over as well as the cute treats those cool moms brought. {Jan and Keri you really are super cool, don't let my angst make you feel otherwise} AND they got to eat the m&ms that marked the bingo cards, and surprisingly enough, not a single one ended up in an orifice in which it didn't belong -while on my watch anyway.

Final report: cautiously calling it a success, until I hear otherwise from Girl Child -10-4 over and out

Strange conversations

Sometimes I worry {and I'm a worrier so it's really more than just sometimes} that we might run out of thing to talk about, that we wouldn't have anything to actually say to each other. Would we become that couple that has run out of things to talk about and just sits quietly in the restaurant eating? I didn't want to be reduced to talking only about kids or work, cause I talk about those enough, my brain needs continuous stimulation.

So The Schroeder and I have this thing, we can have entire conversations using only movie line quotes- kind of scary but ever so funny. I just figured it out-problem solved. We play it like a game, or sometimes just an extremely amusing way to converse. Maybe we can eventually move on to book lines and quotes, I already have some really great ones all stored in my head-ready to pop out at an opportune moment.

In honor of my newly realized relief I give you the game- name that line: "What like a real estate emergency? We don't need a schedule we need a miracle!"

Do you know it? Now tell me your favorite movie line, see if I can guess it

Post Script: That pic was supposed to capture "thoughtful worrying" or maybe "stupor of thought" in my case... it turned out more "disinterested and slightly ticked off" I'm not so good with the self portraits