book fair rejects aka: creepiest children's books ever written

It's not bad enough that there's even a book- it's a guided tour by Senor Caca in a beret and plaid golf pants

What happened to holing up in your room with Narnia and some twinkies?

Did it really need to be fully illustrated?

Do little boys really need a book to tell them how to do this?

"One nation, indivisible" maybe the cover art wasn't all that well thought out after all

apparently I didn't try hard enough

Some how, and by that, I mean the word 'yes' came out of my mouth when I wasn't looking, I've agreed to something I never thought I'd willingly do. Actually 2 somethings I really didn't ever want to do.

I don't know what possessed me to think it was ok to agree to sing, in public, by myself, but that's what I've agreed to do. When I realized what, exactly, I agreed to, I nearly fell over in one of those dizzycauseiforgottobreathe spells.

I'm more of what you'd consider a shower singer- home exhibition only. And no, the church choir thing doesn't count- cause that's a choir, not a solo. And strangely I feel morally obligated to be in the choir- maybe because my mom was the choir director once?

And worse, this really nice lady called and was chatting to me about the PTA, and she said they were thinking of someone to be on the board and my name came up. Somewhere in between the compliments, and not really understanding what was happening- I became the treasurer for the PTA for next year. I think that was mostly due to my ego being easily inflated that I lost my senses momentarily.

Don't worry, I'll be on my guard from now on. No more fast ones being pulled on me, by those tricky people who I just can't say no to. Dang them for being so nice, and complimentary. I guess I didn't try hard enough during the DARE program.

my birthday is a holiday- seriously it is

You know why January the 17th is such a great birthday? No, it's not because you'd have to join the polar people club to have a pool party like those June birthday people can. And it's not because you can have your party on any day of the week since it's Summer Vacation like those July and August people can. It's not even because it's right after Christmas no one wants to do a party right after Christmas- especially not me.

It's because in all of my whole educational career, I've only gone to school on my birthday 2 times. Yep, just twice. I love having a birthday that's frequently an observed holiday.

It totally makes up for the fact that my life has not in any way shape or form done what I planned for it to do by the ripe ole age of 30. Those other 3 or 4 kids I'd planned to have, no big deal- my birthday is an observed holiday. Going to dental hygiene school instead of med school, as planned- so what? My birthday is an observed holiday.

See how it goes and makes things just right, that observed holiday birthday. Don't you wish you had an observed holiday birthday too?

take me to the zoo- or the fair will do

The day before today The Girl Child laced up her filthiest tennis shoes and went on a field trip to the state fair, all to see the huge display of ribbon winning cows, and their poop.

And there were cows galore, on account of the FFA. There one that was as huge as the inside of a ford focus, one that was tall and skinny. There were horses, and goats and bunnies, and a crocodile that you had to pay ten bucks to see.

Well ten bucks is a lot to pay to see a crocodile, I mean we could go to the zoo and see lots of animals for ten bucks. Now if there were a bearded lady, or the man with webbed hands I may have paid to see that- but probably not.

Too bad she got sick and had to come home early- now I'll never know if, in fact, there were any other great attractions at the fair. And there was no time for cotton candy. I think it's a rule or something that cotton candy must be consumed at the fair, or the universe is thrown cataclysmically out of balance. If the world suddenly ceases, I'm sorry- and I blame the cotton candy

ecxitement induced insomnia

This could quite possibly be an exaggeration, but I was up all night long- now don't go thinking this a post about marriedly doings, cause it's definitely not.

It's about the problem of insomnia, not my insomnia either. It was all the Girl Child's insomnia that keeps me up.

The Girl Child was so excited about the first day of school that she put herself to bed at 8:00. Then she woke up at 11- and stayed awake until 2- am. 2 am people. I wasn't very happy to hear- "mom is it morning yet?" every 5 minutes, but I was glad that to hear that she's excited for school. I was gladder when she finally fell back to sleep.

She popped right out of bed, wanted to skip breakfast, ready to go to school an hour early. Apparently the middle of the night wandering didn't interfere with the pep she had going on. It messed with mine.

It's officially the end of summer vacation. unofficially there's still a lot to pack into the rest of the summer.

3rd grader

The list has been posted. I refrained from requesting this year, since last year was such a bust. I have to trust that she is with the teacher that will be best for her, that Heavenly Father knows Em and loves her more than I do. It won't stop me from worrying little though, and praying a lot.

Seriously people?

I was under the impression that there were 50 states in the United States of America, that California was one of them, and that there was never a wrong time to show patriotism to the flag. Apparently I was wrong.

At a high school in California (I'd do the cool linky thing for you, but alas I'm technologically uneducated) 5 students were sent home from school, a public school mind you, for wearing apparel with the flag on it. because it was sinco de mayo.

Sorry, what?

They were sent home because 'they were trying to cause trouble' by wearing clothing with the U.S. flag on it, on a Mexican holiday.

Ok- except:
1. When is it inappropriate to wear patriotic clothing, IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY?
2. They don't even celebrate the dang holiday in Mexico (it's sort of like Columbus day to us)
3. Most of the kids who were sent home were 1/2 Mexican.

By the way- I think it's great to have awareness about other cultures celebrations, but you should probably pick one that they actually celebrate.

So if I complained about clothes with the U.S. flag being worn on St. Patrick's Day, Live Oaks High School, would you send those rude, trouble making kids home so they don't hurt my feelings?

Aren't those the coolest bruises? If it didn't hurt so stinking bad to bend my arm, they'd be even cooler. I had to wear a sweater at church yesterday, to keep them covered- The Schroeder said it looked like he was an abusive husband, and to please explain to people that it was a moment of klutziness- which is usually how these thing happen anyway right?

I'm sure you're dying to hear the story, so I'll indulge you. It was Tuesday morning, Girl child had the best morning of her second grade career, so I allowed her to choose her method of getting to school. The scooter was the vehicle of choice. alas there is nowhere to park it at school, so that left me to ride it home, you see where this is going now don't you?

I made it safely all the way to the driveway, and totally ate it on that little bump that separates the driveway proper from the gutter. the garbage men saw me biff it, and laughed. I jumped right up like I wasn't hurt and dragged the danged scooter to the back yard, along with my wounded pride.

I would show you a picture of the other two bruises, knee and foot, but I can't really bend in such a way as to get a picture... and getting those arm ones were hard enough, so you'll just have to use your imagination. just know they're ugly but no where near as cool as the ones on my arm. All in the name of good mothering and all that you know

Mafioso Mama

Love The Girl Child with all of my guts, but lately I feel like I've been a mafia boss-and she's the reason. the low voice, the yelling, threats under my breath, thoughts like 'I wanna love her and hug her and break her neck'. Some days I vacillate between seriously quit whining and suck it up and ok you can be sick today. I don't feel like me anymore.

Gone are the- good morning, time to get up and dressed, what would you like for breakfast- days. It's a whole new and patience trying phase. Now the mornings are more like an epic battle, day after day. She hates school again, and has for quite a while now, but she has gotten to the refusal to go stage. again.

It's the crappy version of groundhog day. and we still have 3.5 months of school left. even though home school isn't an option for her, she'd hate her teacher, I almost considered it. Is it too much to hope that 3rd grade will be any better? How do you help someone learn to like something they are adamant about hating, and how is it that other kids like school so much and she hates it, aren't they having basically the same experience? When will I feel confident as a mom again?

Nary a stray m&m

Valentines Class Party Report-

It all started with sugar cookies that needed to be frosted, decorated, and enjoyed. Imagine 100 second graders sitting at lunch tables, frosting and a popsicle stick, cookie and a juice box. Not one frosting fight broke out, so far so good. On to recess, so the moms could set up games in the class rooms.

Bingo, bookmark craft, and dice game - no gambling though. 10 minutes at each station. I ran bingo. The other 'cooler' moms brought prizes along with the game. my treat " you don't have a math test right now-there you go kid" didn't go over as well as the cute treats those cool moms brought. {Jan and Keri you really are super cool, don't let my angst make you feel otherwise} AND they got to eat the m&ms that marked the bingo cards, and surprisingly enough, not a single one ended up in an orifice in which it didn't belong -while on my watch anyway.

Final report: cautiously calling it a success, until I hear otherwise from Girl Child -10-4 over and out

the secret life of E

Did you know that children have whole other lives at school, secret lives even. It's like they're spies or incredibles or something equally exciting and dangerous. They have their home identity and then there is the school identity aka their 'cover'- and really who knew? not me.

At home they may loathe something, like soccer or basketball-team sports in general for instance, but at school they're all over that on the playground. Oblivious to certain things at home{all things Disney channel} but at school they are suddenly experts on the Jonas Brothers? And the whole school outfit vs the Saturday play outfits, when was there ever a difference? Why all of a sudden dresses and matching your bff's ensemble of the day? How did this evolve- is there some sort of class about it on the playground? Is that what the little girls are standing there talking about instead of jump roping now?

When did it happen that I don't know all; the omniscient Mother is no longer, may she rest in peace.

testing 1,2,3...

The Girl took a 3 hour test today, and reallyI had debated whether or not to have Girl child take the test at all {it was for our school district's pull out program}. She came to me with the flyer and asked to take it- how could I say no to that right? But I wondered if it would be a good thing for her or if it would be one more thing to stress her out about school -like we need more of that.

Then I went to the survey that must be completed pre-test, and I tell you what that sucker almost described the girl to a T. Aware of the emotions of others-check, asks complex questions-check, concerned and aware of world events-check. This may just be the thing that makes school happy for her. They asked for examples and I have to admit I did brag just a bit on the personality and emotional awareness type questions, ok a lot but I couldn't restrain myself...

So I'll share with you too. What's that-you're dying to know? I knew you would be.

This kid- wow! 2 years ago she gave her piggy bank savings to primary children medical center pennies by the inch thing, her entire piggy bank. last year she gave a big bag full of change to her school's fund raiser for the homeless shelter in our city, this year she gave what she had left of her Christmas money for Haiti to our church. She is an awesome kid and she reminds me to be generous, I really am a lucky mom.

Random Christmas Thoughts

ONLY 3 DAYS until Christmas, I can hardly contain myself. The neighbor gifts are going to be delivered tonight, by The Schroeder and The Girl Child, while I go play in the freshly fallen snow with the young men and young women. It really doesn't seem fair, but they'll manage somehow.

And even better, Girl Child is almost out of school for Christmas break YAY. They keep them in school for far too long, I think, but that's just me... one of those annoying parents who like their kid and could do with more time to do things together before Christmas, you know a weird parent.

Only one thing left to do before school is out, let her take in the gifts she painstakingly made, as well as the teacher gift, which according to Girl child has not been sufficiently earned this year.
Apparently gifts are earned, I was unaware of this, but really it makes sense-sort of. "Santa can't come visit you if you're naughty" I guess that is one way of earning the privilege of receiving a gift.

I personally like her whole "I'm your flesh and blood, so therefore its a given" notion, but what can I say, Santa has always been a little creepy for Girl Child. She shunned him for the first 4 years of her life, and in her 5th year the next door neighbor kids let her in on the secret, so it's never been something we've ever had to fake for her. I think I like it better this way, but I have nothing to compare it to. Oh and one more positive for no Santa, YOU get credit for all of the great gifts- and really that's what it's all about, right?

answered

After family prayer and scriptures yesterday morning I heard the most glorious thing.

"Can I just go to school now, please?"

While yes I was a bit put off at the fact she didn't want a hug or kiss before school, I was elated to hear her say those words.

It gets better.

When I asked about her day as we walked home from school I got the answer I've been longing to hear- "It was a perfect day, mom, I loved it."

I feel so blessed; faith was exercised, a prayer was answered, and school is happy.

exercise

"Too many people confine their exercise to jumping to conclusions, running up bills, stretching the truth, bending over backward, lying down on the job, sidestepping responsibility and pushing their luck." -Anonymous

I've been exercising too much, particularly walking all over people and pushing my luck, or planning to anyway. I really hope for Emma to have a good year in school, I'm afraid of what the consequences will be if not.

I hoped for a certain teacher for the girl, requested said teacher in fact, did not get what I hoped for.

I have had my speech and arguments all planned out in my head for how to get her into the teacher I think she'll do best in.

Hopefully the school will be willing to bend over backward to accommodate this request.

I know it seems overbearing and smother mothery to request certain teachers, to not accept what teacher has already been assigned, and I know I am a little of both. And really who am I to think I know what teacher is the right one, who am I to be so demanding?

I don't know.

All I do know is that I just want a happy year for her.

I suppose I need to try a little different type of exercise, the kind where I trust in Heavenly Father- cause He knows her even better than I do. I need to exercise my faith that He'll take care of her.

In one week

In one week we'll be back at the school days routine, hopefully a whole new one this year. One that doesn't include crying every morning or my freinds having to rip my child off of my body as I walk away and she is dragged to class.

No more purposely being late to school or begging to stay home and me almost caving every time. No more tears, hers and mine-although mine were always later. No more questioning why I am doing this to her every day-wondering is it really worth it- not much learning going on anyway. No more faking being sick, and getting away with it sometimes.

We need a kind year, a gentle one where she only wants to stay home when she is really sick, and recess will be fun and where her teacher is loved and adored. That is what I'm praying for, just happiness.

Bond, James Bond

So I was assigned to decorate Emma's teacher's door for teacher appreciation week (one of the perks of being the room mom). The hard part is that I'm not impressed with her teacher, and really only appreciate-ish her teacher-
heavy on the ish.

Then I found out there was a theme.
"Our teachers have class"...

So this is what I came up with.
My neighbor sketched the outline, she is fabulous- Thanks Jan!!

Isn't he cute?

btw: that's a pencil he is holding- not a gun-its going up in a school for pete's sake